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by Nathan Buck

Let me first say that there are plenty of people who will tell you why you should ‘play the field’ and experiment with sex. There are also plenty of people who will tell their story of waiting, having a bad sexual experience or a broken marriage, and then saying you shouldn't wait because they wished they hadn't. So, if opinion and other people's experiences are the only criteria you are going to use, then anything I say here won't matter. Anyone can justify why they decided to give up the gift of their virginity, and of course it makes them feel better if you join the crowd and do the same. 

But if you are serious about this question, I want to encourage you to read all the blog posts this week on this question. And in this post, I want to deal with one important aspect of this question - giving into your desires/flesh. 

Read the book of Galatians - especially look into 5:17-19 and 6:8 (and the context). There is a simple concept being expressed here. The flesh takes the path of least resistance. Once our flesh learns it can act a particular way, it continues to crave that activity. And if it has learned to ignore any boundaries with that activity, then our flesh will desire that activity anywhere and with anyone it can experience it with. That is why Paul - the writer of Galatians - says that sowing into (following the path of) the flesh leads to destruction. 

Romans 8:8 says that it if we live according to the flesh, we cannot praise God. We cannot remember, celebrate, and trust Him.

I waited until I was married to have intercourse. So did my wife. Our relationship and intimacy are awesome! This is mainly because we have trained our bodies to find the satisfaction for our flesh through the Spirit of God first, which means we trained our flesh to understand that there is only one relationship, one commitment, and one unique place where this level of intimacy happens. Because we did that, we are able to set aside thoughts and lust and distractions that we may have in regard to other people who may be attractive to us. The flesh doesn't care about moral boundaries, but because we trained it properly to understand the purpose of sex is to consummate a marriage, we are able to more easily honor God and each other with our sexuality.

The opposite is true for those who have sex outside of marriage. Even if you try to create a moral boundary other than marriage (‘we're exclusive,’ ‘gonna get married someday,’ ‘really love them,’ etc.), they cannot stand up to the temptation. Removing sex from its intended context and placing in a false boundary is useless - our mind and spirit know it, and so does our flesh. There is no staying power and no faithfulness in false boundaries for sex. 

As I shared, this is only one piece of the answer to this question. So, read the other blog posts. In the mean time, consider whether you want a healthy sex life and a faithful partnership with your spouse. And most of all, do you want to be blessed in that relationship and the depth of that intimacy? Then honor God with your body, train it toward His purposes, and you will experience the favor and goodness of that tremendous gift called sex. 

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