Blog

by Charlie Wolcott

How often have we had times in our lives where we have no clue what is going on, we see no purpose of moving forward in a particular direction, but we know we have to press on? As I was growing up, if you wanted to see me in a meltdown, the quickest way to do that was to change my schedule on me and not tell me what was going on. When I was in elementary school, summers were the worst for me because during the summer there was no regular routine for me to follow. I was the kind of person that had to have that predetermined structure, but if you deviated me from that structure, things did not go well. Even today, I do not like being interrupted from a task I am in the middle of doing, unless I know I am at a good break point. I am much better than I used to be, but it is still an issue I deal with.

One of the big ways both God and my parents used to help me deal with this challenge was through mission trips. My first one was a total disaster. The specialists working with me insisted that I not go and when we got back, I lost about ¾ of the progress I had made just before going. But my parents said they would take me again and again and again, and it paid off. They knew that this would help me in the long run. And they demonstrated a level of patience and trust that many specialists working with me did not have.

Today, I am in a position where I could easily feel I am in limbo. I know God has called me to be a teacher. I have my certifications to teach math and physics, but in 2 ½ years, I have not been able to find a full-time teaching position. I’ve been able to make ends meet as a substitute in the meantime, but God has just not yet opened this door for me to be a teacher yet. Did I miss what God said? Am I looking in the wrong direction? My degree is in computer science, not education, and I know I can make a heck of a lot more money as a programmer than I can as a teacher. Why would I pursue teaching? I have student loans, and I still have 8 years scheduled to pay off my debt. What is going on? I’ve been asked these questions. Do I know I am supposed to be a teacher? Did I go off a tangent from what God told me to do? Many of the answers I have to these questions are, “I don’t know.” But I do know that God does know and he is the one I am trusting. A good friend of mine said this: “If you are lost and you do not know what to do or where to go, go back and find out what the last thing you know for certain that God told you to do, and go do it.”

That is where I am at. The last thing I know for certain God told me to do is to pursue teaching. He did not say where I would be teaching, or what grades I would be teaching, or in what format I would be teaching. He just told me to pursue teaching. I’ve been in this path before. When I was in college, I was 1 ½ years into my civil engineering program when I decided I did not want to pursue this the rest of my career. I knew I could do the work, but it was not a career I wanted to do. But I did not know where else to turn. I knew better than to just switch majors and bounce around all over the place. So I stuck with it for one more year, and during that year, I found a very interesting program called computer science. And I enjoyed it. So at that point, I switched. But I know now if I gave up on civil engineering before I should have, I would not have ended up where I am now.

Another area where I have been struggling with this is with my publisher. I love them and they have done what very few other publishers would do. My first novel was self-published, and when an author self-publishes, it has to be a very impressive seller for any other publisher to pick it up. My sales were not that great, but OakTara loved what they saw and decided to offer me a contract not just for my first novel Call to Arms but also the next two in my trilogy. Those two are now written but since I submitted my manuscripts, I have not heard a word from them. I’ve tried contacting them on a regular basis, but I simply have not gotten anything from them. I have been praying about this and the word God gave me was to be patient. Call to Arms was released in May 2014, and in reality most books in a series are released a year at a time. So while I know they are contractually bound to publish my books, I have to learn to be patient, even in this time of not knowing where things stand. If I know where things stand, I am usually okay, but God is using this time to teach me to be patient and to trust him even when I do not have a clue of where things stand. I have a good publisher and they have done an incredible job with Call to Arms. I trust they will do the right job at the right time with the next two.

Where are you at? Are you in a place where you do not know what is going on around you? Do you feel lost where the world seems to be moving on without you and no one is telling you why? Does not having an understanding of your circumstances make you flustered and stressed out? If so, you are not alone. Trust God. Be patient. He knows what is going on. There is nothing that takes him by surprise. He has the whole picture in mind. I know that if I knew every step of what I would go through before I did it, I likely would not have taken the journey. But I know the journey has been worth it. Be patient. There are things that need to take place before God is ready to act. And what God has in mind is always better than anything else we could have in mind. Believe him and trust him. And put yourself in a position where when the opportunity comes, you will be able to jump into action. Be ready for the miracle when it comes and believe that God will come through. I know what I am expecting from God is going to come through, even if it is not here yet. That is what faith really is. I know I will have a teaching position. I don’t know where or when I will have it, but I know I will have one. I know that my next two books will be released. I don’t know when, but I know they will be. Because I am trusting God to do what needs to be done for these things to be successful and to give him glory. Keep fighting. Keep pressing forward. God is in control.