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Dear Ann: Rev. C. Glalea was assigned to the Guelph Correctional Center for summer work. While there, he developed an excellent rapport with many young lawbreakers. He asked the boys for clues as to why they had ended up into that institution. He then asked them to draw up a code for parents, zeroing in on specific areas where they had failed.

1. Keep cool. Don’t fly off the handle. Just keep the lid on when things go wrong. Kids need to see how much better things turn out when people keep their tempers under control.
2. Don’t get strung out from too much booze or too many pills. When we see our parents reaching for those crutches, we get the idea that nobody goes out there alone, and it’s perfectly OK to reach for a bottle or a capsule when things get heavy. Remember, children are great imitators. We lose respect for parents who tell us to behave one way, while they behave another.
3. Bug us a little. Be strict. Show us who’s boss. We need to know that we’ve got some strong supports. When you cave in, we get scared.
4. Don’t blow your class. Stay on that pedestal. Don’t try to dress, dance or talk like your kids. You embarrass us and you look ridiculous.
5. Light a candle. Show us the way. Tell us that God is not dead, or sleeping, or on vacation. We need to believe in something bigger or stronger than ourselves.
6. Scare the heck out of us. If you catch us lying, stealing or being cruel, get tough. Let us know why what we did was wrong. Impress on us the importance of not repeating such behavior.
7. When we need punishment, dish it out. But let us know that you still love us, even though we have let you down. It will make us think twice before we make that same move again.
8. Call our bluff. Make it clear you mean what you say. Don’t compromise. And don’t be intimidated with our threats to drop out of school or leave home. Stand up to us and we’ll respect you. Kids don’t want everything they ask for.
9. Be honest. Tell us the truth no matter what. And be straight arrow about everything. We can take it. Lukewarm answers make us uneasy. We can smell uncertainty a mile away.
10. Praise us when we deserve it. If you give us kids a few compliments once in a while, we will be able to accept criticism a lot easier. The bottom line is, we want you to tell it like it is.

- A reader who loves kids

From Ann Landers’ column

This famous mother of nineteen, including Charles and John Wesley, set down these rules.

1. Allow no eating between meals.
2. Put all children to bed by 8 o’clock.
3. Require them to take medicine without complaining. (Those were the days of cod liver oil.)
4. Subdue self-will in a child and thus work together with God to save his soul.
5. Teach each one to pray as soon as he can speak.
6. Give them nothing that they cry for and only what they ask for politely.
7. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed and repented of.
8. Never allow a sinful act to go unpunished.
9. Never punish a child twice for the same offense.
10. Commend and reward all good behavior.
11. Reserve property rights, even to the smallest matters.
12. Any attempt to please, even if poorly performed, should be commended.
13. Strictly observe all promises.
14. Teach children to fear the rod.

Note: “Old fashioned?” The world could do with some men like John and Charles Wesley.

1. Honor your womanhood that your days may be long in the house which your husband has provided for you.
2. Expect not your husband to give you as many luxuries as your father has after many years of hard labors and economies.
3. Forget not the virtue of good humor, for verily all that a man has will he give for a woman’s smile.
4. You shall not nag.
5. Remember the frank approval of your husband is worth more to you than the sidelong glances of many strangers.
6. You shall coddle your husband, for verily every man loves to be fussed over.
7. Forget not the grace of cleanliness and good dressing.
8. Permit no one to assure you that you are having a hard time of it: Neither your mother, nor your sister, maiden aunt, nor any of your relatives; for the judge will not hold her guiltless that lets another disparage her husband.
9. Keep your home with all diligence, for out of it comes the joys of your old age.
10. Commit your ways unto the Lord, and your children shall rise up and call you blessed.

by Henry W. Mack

My mother-in-law shared these with me years ago and I just found them. With Valentines Day coming up, I hope they encourage you to be a better husband.

For those of you not married yet, I hope they help you to get focused on how you should treat your future wife. I also hope that they help you to realize you should honor the woman you are dating no matter what (because she may be someone else's wife someday). Treat her with honor and respect. You would want that for your own wife, wouldn't you?

In fact, maybe it would be a good idea to trust God to bring the right woman into your life anyway and wait for her.

Enjoy. "The 10 Commandments for Women" will be posted next week.

• Remember that your wife is your partner and not your property.
• Don’t expect your wife to be your wife and wage-earner at the same time.
• Think not that your business is none of your wife’s business.
• You shall hold your wife’s love by the same measure that you won it.
• You shall make the building of your house your first business.
• You shall cooperate with your wife in establishing family discipline.
• You shall enter into your house with cheerfulness.
• You shall not let anyone criticize your wife to your face and get away with it (neither your father, mother, brothers, sisters, nor any relative).
• You shall not take your wife for granted.
• Remember to keep your home to keep it holy.

by Henry W. Mack

Philippians 4:4-9: Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I have seen so many people complaining on the Internet, in newspapers, and in practically every media outlet about how horrible the beginning of the 21st century has been. I disagree. Here are some reasons why it has been exciting for me:

• All of my children except one were born in the 21st century.
• I have been married to a wonderful woman during all of the 21st century.
• I moved on from a stable job which I thought I might never leave and have been able to be used in bringing many people throughout the United States into knowledge of Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit.
• I have some great friends and have better understood what a true friend really is.
• I am blessed to be discipled by an incredible man of God.
• I am involved in a great discipleship group where we encourage and challenge each other in our faith in Jesus Christ.
• Throughout the world, people are taking a discerning look at who they are and what they believe.
• More than ever, people are searching for the truth. What a great opportunity for us to not only talk about the truth but also show people the truth in love through our actions.
• The church of Christ is making some difficult decisions and determining the definition of the “Church.” Even people whom I would call pew sitters are beginning to recognize the need for something to be done.

How about you?  What are the good things that happened to you in the first part of the 21st century?  What can you praise God for today?

Have we had troubles as a country? Yes. Have we had troubles in our families?  The answer, most likely, is yes. However, we need to focus on the good things and rejoice in the Lord and His ways always. Have a great 2010!

The following is a letter from a mother printed in a German newspaper in November 1993:

“I had a child from 1969 to 1991, who then left the house. I was always busy professionally and the child learned to walk and talk from somebody else. He lived his childhood, which went by so quickly, and grew up. It may be possible to unite career and child rearing. I myself can only tell of the wordless grief that accompanied me, like a dark river, despite outward success. I had a child and sat at a desk.”

So what about you? Youth, are you willing to let your parents spend time with you? Why or why not? What can you do to remedy this situation? Maybe you can help by giving them this short writing.

Parents, are you focusing in on your children or just letting life pass you by without a care in the world, only to regret it all later? If you are, what can you do to change this?

If you think you are doing a good job spending time with your children, I want to ask you to ask them how they think you are doing. Ask them, “If there was one thing we could do together today, what would that be,” then do your best to do that with them.

And if that won’t work, just take them out for a soda, a bite to eat or just go out and get some hot chocolate & count blue cars at a busy intersection for a bit.

Please spend time with the children God has given to you.
“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” - Deuteronomy 6:5-8

The following lyrics are from one of my favorite bands on the planet, Project 86. Some of you might think this is too radical, but is it?

I think not.

As Christians our old person is dead and the flesh is dying anyway. As the song states, "I’ve erased all of my fear of the grave." Thanks to the Holy Spirit and His power we can live fearless in this world.

It is time to stand up for our Savior. We need to have the following attitude in all we do for Christ as the song states, "You’ll never kill Him (Holy Spirit) that lives inside of me." I am so glad for the life that our Lord and Savior has given to me.

Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy the following song and lyrics.

You can hear the song at the following link. Follow along below. It is a very powerful message to read the lyrics while listening to the song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KM21wwYOSM

Project 86 - The Butcher

This man came to me he was looking for action
Pulling a blade to my neck
He said, "Call me the butcher cause that's my trade
And you know that I’ve come to collect."

I said, "Hit me now
And we’ll see where it leads
Cut me out if you think I will bleed
Strike me down if you think you’re a man
Cause I know that you don't understand"

Because there is no weapon
There is no blade
You wonder why I’m not afraid?
There is no weapon
There is no blade
You’ll never kill Him that lives inside of me.

He looked into my eyes. All he saw was conviction.
Dropping the blade to the earth
I said, "How could you think that I’d ever retreat?
You know that I’m already dead."

I said, "Hit me now and we’ll see where it leads
Cut me out if you think I will bleed
Strike me down if you think you’re a man
Cause I know that you don't understand"

Because there is no weapon
There is no blade
You wonder why I’m not afraid?
There is no weapon
There is no blade
I’ve erased all of my fear of the grave.

There is no weapon
There is no blade
You wonder why I’m not afraid?
There is no weapon
There is no blade
You’ll never kill Him that lives inside of me.


2 Corinthians 5:1–10&17

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

I also want us to remember Philippians 1:21: "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

Serve Jesus in all you do. So what do you think?