“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
- Galatians 5:22-23
If there’s any fruit of the Spirit that feels countercultural, or maybe even impossible, in the world we live in, it’s this one: gentleness.
We live in a society that often rewards the loudest voices, the sharpest comebacks, the strongest opinions, and the toughest personalities. “Stand your ground,” “Don’t let anyone walk over you,” “Get the last word” – these are the messages we hear every day. Social media especially encourages harshness; the quick jab, the snap judgment, the sarcastic reply, the assumption of the worst in others.
But in contrast to that, we as Christians are called to be gentle.
At first glance, gentleness might seem like the “softest” of the fruits—maybe even the least impressive. But Biblically, gentleness is not weakness. Gentleness is strength under control. It comes from a heart that is secure in the Lord, able to trust God’s power rather than asserting our own. It is one of the clearest ways we reflect the heart of Jesus Himself.
The Greek word translated as gentleness carries nuances of humility, quiet strength, controlled power, and a posture of peace. It was used to describe a powerful horse that has been trained, a king who rules with compassion, and a person who has every right to strike back but instead chooses mercy. Gentleness isn’t about lack of force but about choosing a better way because you belong to God and are led by His Spirit.
A gentle person speaks the truth, but kindly. A gentle person is strong, but refuses to crush others. A gentle person is wise, but refuses to boast. A gentle person has convictions, but refuses to condemn others when their convictions differ. A gentle person could retaliate, but refuses to be vengeful. Gentleness is a divine paradox because the stronger you are in Christ, the gentler you become.
Jesus, of course, is the perfect example of gentleness. In Matthew 11:29, He said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” This is the core of Christ’s character. He is powerful enough to calm storms, raise the dead, and cast out demons, yet tender enough to gather children in His arms, touch lepers with compassion, and restore the broken with mercy.
Think of His encounter with the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11). Jesus had every right to condemn her according to the law. He had perfect moral authority. But instead, He stooped down, silenced the accusers, and spoke words that healed: “Neither do I condemn you… Go now and leave your life of sin.” This is gentleness; it is truth with love, holiness with compassion, strength with tenderness. Jesus didn’t excuse sin; He transformed sinners through mercy.
Just as with the other fruit of the Spirit, gentleness is not optional. It is a command of Scripture, an evidence of the Spirit’s work, and essential for Christian witness. Our gentleness makes the gospel believable (see Philippians 4:5) because it is a countercultural testimony to the work that God has done in our lives.
Gentleness reflects spiritual maturity. Spiritual maturity isn’t measured by how much Scripture you know, how long you’ve been in church, or how many ministries you lead; it is measured by resemblance to Christ. If we claim to follow a gentle Savior, we must allow His character to be formed in us.
It’s important to note that gentleness is not being a pushover, avoiding difficult conversations, letting harmful behavior continue, pretending everything is fine, or sacrificing truth for peace. Gentleness does not mean you never say “no,” never confront sin, or never set boundaries. Jesus did all those things, and He was perfectly gentle. Gentleness is a posture we choose to guide our strength into appropriate channels.
Like the other fruit of the Spirit, gentleness cannot be produced by sheer willpower. It grows in us as the Holy Spirit forms Christ within us. But we can incorporate some practices in our lives to help cultivate this gift.
We can slow our reactions and practice restraint, pausing long enough to let the Holy Spirit guide how we respond to situations (see James 1:19). We should always look for the image of God in others, which helps us to treat others as sacred, even when they frustrate us, disagree with us, or behave poorly. We should practice gentle speech (see Colossians 4:6), offering correction with compassion, confronting others only with love and care, being quick to apologize, and speaking words that build up rather than tear down.
Gentleness grows when we practice it in our relationships, and it is a lifelong journey. Think about who may be requiring more gentleness from you in your life. Where should you respond with compassion rather than irritation? Who needs more of the Spirit’s gentleness to flow from your life into theirs?
This week, walk in step with the gentleness of the Holy Spirit, so that the world will see Christ in us through our gentleness.
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