One of the greatest problems in the church today is the embracing of the cultural practice of “tolerance.” We are not talking about the tolerance of “I disagree with you but will fight to allow you to have and say your opinion,” but a tolerance of “How dare you question me from doing what I do?” And the acceptance of every form of deviancy but completely intolerant of those who actually believe in morality and integrity. When it comes to spiritual warfare, this form of tolerance has allowed two types of people into the church: Diotrephes and Absalom. I am indebted to John MacArthur for pointing out Diotrephes to me, and I am indebted to Eric Ludy regarding Absalom. In both cases, the goal and intention of those who carry this spirit are to divide, conquer, control, and silence any voice that could expose them or rule in their place.
In 2 John, we learn of an “elect lady” who was a dear member of the church of Ephesus that John had been pastoring. This elect lady was known for hospitality and loving those in her church. However, word got to John about her unknowingly hosting a false teacher, and he warned her that there are people we are NOT to entertain or even give a welcome. Yes, the command is that severe. When someone brings in teachings that are contrary to the Gospel, we may have a friendship with them for the purpose of evangelism, but we are to give them no acceptance of any form other than being a lost soul on the way to Hell who needs to be saved. We especially are not to give them a platform through which they can give their teachings.
In this case, John did not identify the culprit, likely for the reason that the principle mattered more than the specific person. However, in 3 John, a letter to a man named Gaius, we do see a false teacher called out by name: Diotrephes. In calling Diotrephes by name, it is clear that Gaius and Diotrephes knew each other, or at least Gaius was very familiar with him. Diotrephes was a man who sought preeminence. He wanted positions of influence and power. He was very likely an elder or at least a deacon and had a big sway in the church. Diotrephes was called out for seeking to subvert the Gospel and prevent good people, including the Apostle John himself, from preaching there, lest they find out about him and expose him.
Absalom was King David’s son who had some serious problems. What brought them out was when his older brother Amnon raped Absalom’s sister Tamar. David did nothing that we know of or in the timing that Absalom wanted, and so Absalom set up a party and assassinated Amnon. This made Absalom go into self-exile because he feared David’s retaliation. Then he used Job, David’s general, to get him to come back to the capital. While there, Absalom spent three years at the gates of the palace, interacting with the people and telling them that David could not deal with their problems, but he would if he were king instead. He used this to build up the trust of the people and then prepared for the coup to overthrow David, which nearly succeeded.
Both of these people are in the churches today. An illustration of a Diotrephes is given in Frank Peretti’s Piercing the Darkness. In the book, a church is under attack and the pastor, who is also a principal at a Christian school, is arrested on child abuse charges. During the battle, the church has a prayer chain (because back in the 1980s they didn’t have group chats), and one of the women early in the prayer chain would gossip, all in the name of prayer, and make accusations that kept putting the pastor in a bad light. We don’t get to find out who she is until later.
In the real world, I have seen and heard first-hand stories of dealing with Diotrephes. One of the clearest examples is what happened to a Young Earth evangelist whom I will not mention by name. He told me how he had been sharing what he was doing at his church, had a huge and successful event with people getting saved and so the pastor wanted to have a meeting with him to find out more. Both he and his wife were brought up to sit in a love seat and then for over an hour, the pastor and the elders grilled him over his creation stance. Every time he answered both scientifically and Scripturally, both the pastor and one of the lead elders glared at him with an evil hatred. THAT is Diotrephes. Needless to say, the evangelist left that church. But he has told me directly that the range of 90%+ of churches will not allow him to speak at their events, thus blocking life-saving truth from the youth who are departing at a rate of at least 90%, often over the topic of origins. There is a Diotrephes whom the church leadership knows if you cross that line, you cross that person. This person is often one of the biggest donors to the church and one whom with a word can pull away a large chunk of the congregation away too, even to the point of pulling an Absalom and throwing a coup to drive that pastor out if they dared speak the truth on that particular topic. Yes, they are in there. Diotrephes is the type of a tare that Jesus warned about.
While Diotrephes seeks to have the dominant say in what goes on in the church, Absalom seeks to actually be the ruling voice. Diotrephes may try to pull strings and hide in shadows at the time, but Absalom wants the title and the throne. Absalom shows up in an influential voice who intentionally steals the hearts of the people and seeks to tear down and overthrow the pastor. I have seen this, too. I have seen people who through teaching “studies” seek to undermine the authority and the integrity of the pastor and the leadership and seek to get people to follow them instead. They may seek to get votes from congregants to override the church leadership and eventually remove them and install themselves.
We have to be very careful about always looking “out there” for these people, because sometimes, this spirit can creep up in ourselves. Looking back, I can see times when I had moments where an Absalom spirit started to rise in me at my previous church because some of the things I was seeing did not agree with where I was as a believer in my faith, and some of it was more serious than others. I had to watch myself because I would realize that if I went down that route, it would cause a church fight. Church fights are ugly, and behind them is a Diotrephes or an Absalom.
That spirit can show up with any of us, including those who are active defenders of the faith. This is one of the reasons why Scripture says we must respect those in leadership, especially when we are not. Their job is NOT easy and yes, chances are you have some ideas that could make things run better, but if you are not in charge, you need to honor and respect the authorities who might know more than you do. There is a time for addressing error and there is a way to do that, but Diotrephes and Absalom are not the way to do it. If you reach a point where you will not be able to reconcile where your faith is going and where the church is, then it is better you move on somewhere else in a respectful manner.
What should we do if we see such spirits? Do we uproot them? Jesus said we will always have tares among the wheat until Judgment Day, but at the same time, both Paul and John removed sinful people lest they affect the whole congregation. It’s a case-by-case situation, but in all cases, the Matthew 18 method of discipline should be the primary guideline. Sometimes, church leadership needs to go straight to ex-communication depending on the severity of the crimes, but sometimes you can also nip the Diotrephes and Absalom spirits in the bud and prevent them from blossoming, and hopefully restore such a person quickly. But we must be on guard because it does not matter what church you go to, the enemy is always going to seek to get one of these two spirits in your church. If you are not careful, it might be you. Don’t go looking around for them, but I write this so when you see it, you can recognize it. We must always be on guard.
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