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by Bill Seng

“But you have not obeyed my voice.” ~Judges 6:10

Mark Gungor is a pastor and a marriage/relationship specialist. He has a unique sense of humor that reaches the hearts of believers and non-believers alike. He uses illustrations of his own relationship with his wife to identify with other men in the audience. One phenomenon that he described was how men often don’t do what their wives tell them to do because they cannot remember being told to do something. This problem got so bad in Mark’s own relationship that he consulted a doctor that specializes in hearing. After finding out that he could hear most sounds that only dogs can hear (hahaha), he decided to pay close attention to his wife as she would speak to him.

Ultimately, the following example does not apply in all relationships but will serve to illustrate a lesson we should learn from Scripture. His wife came into the room where he was and she started speaking to him. She then left the room and went to the next room over and was speaking to him. She then proceeded to go all the way to the other side of the house, do the laundry, and even stuck her head in the dryer to pull out close and proceeded to talk to him all the while he sat in the same room in which he started. He made mention of this to her and she responded, “Well, you don’t listen anyway!”

In the Hebrew culture, hearing a teaching from a rabbi was something special. Rabbis were highly respected people, and when you had the privilege to hear one of them speak, you listened intently and then you did whatever it was they said to do. If you did not respond with action, you were said to have never heard what they said. If you hear what a rabbi says and take action, why would you hear the Word of the Lord and not obey, unless you did not hear?

It was not that the people of Israel did not literally hear what God said, they simply refused to either pay attention or to obey the command of God. In Judges 6, God calls them to task by reminding them what he had done for them and how they in turn refused to obey his commands. This is definitely a pattern in the book of Judges. Once again, Mark Gungor can help us out with the rest of his illustration concerning why men “don’t listen.”

He found some studies that revealed that men do not respond the way their wife wants them to the first time she asks. If she wants him to do the laundry, typically she’ll need to ask him two or three times to do it before he actually obeys. He wanted to verify this statistic, so he asked some women at his church about their husbands.

He went to the first woman,
Mark: “Do you have a hard time getting your husband to do what you ask him to do?”
Woman 1: “Pastor, you have no idea…” (she gives an example).
Mark: “How many times did you ask him to do that?”
Woman 1: “Once.”
Mark: “Why didn’t you ask him a second time?”
Woman 1: “I shouldn’t have to.”

Mark: “Do you have a hard time getting your husband to do what you ask him to do?”
Woman 2: “Pastor, you have no idea…” (she gives an example).
Mark: “How many times did you ask him to do that?”
Woman 2: “Once.”
Mark: “Why didn’t you ask him a second time?”
Woman 2: “I shouldn’t have to.”

Mark: “Do you have a hard time getting your husband to do what you ask him to do?”
Woman 3: “Pastor, you have no idea…” (she gives an example).
Mark: “How many times did you ask him to do that?”
Woman 3: “Once.”
Mark: “Why didn’t you ask him a second time?”
Woman 3: “I shouldn’t have to.”

Mark’s take away lesson from this illustration: Women, you have to ask your husband more than once!

Now, in relation to Judges, there is this pattern of God disciplining his people over and over again. He blesses them and they are blessed, they rebel and fall into sin, they get into trouble, God shows them grace and rescues them. This happens over and over. Just like men, mankind is a hard-headed creation! It takes multiple rounds of discipline and reminders to get us to obey God’s laws. We are able to display obedience quicker, but bad habits die hard. Hebrews 12 cites Proverbs and Psalms when its author wrote, “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives” (verses 5-6).

When we get trapped in sin, we can count on God to discipline us. Often times we repent, but we then fall into the same old trap with our sin. In those cases, we can expect God to discipline us again. He is patient with us and we need to be quick to learn from his discipline and take heart in that God only disciplines us because he loves us. That is why he allowed Israel, in its sin, to suffer oppression. That is why he allows us to suffer hardship, whether we are growing in faith or overcoming sin.

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