Blog

by Katie Erickson

This week we’re taking a break from going through the book of Habakkuk to look at question that the ministry of Worldview Warriors has been asked regarding sex: “When I’m with my boyfriend/girlfriend, how far is too far?”

This is one of those areas that is difficult to give a specific answer on directly from the Bible, because this is not a situation that the Bible speaks plainly on. But, this is where we need to know the whole of Scripture and lean on the character of God for an answer.

Psalm 119:9 says, “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.” If you want to remain pure, whether morally or sexually or any other way, you must live according to God’s Word. That is pretty clear.

But how do we address this issue of how far is too far to go physically? There’s no verse that says, “Thou shalt not kiss before marriage” or “Thou shalt not touch that part of another person’s body.” But, we do see verses that are clear on sexual sin in general. For example, please read this blog post on what fornication is and how it is a sin. We are called to honor God with our bodies, and that means keeping them pure for Him.

Last week, when addressing the fourth “woe” statement in Habakkuk, I wrote about motivation. The question behind the question about how far is too far is motivation. Why are you even asking the question? Are you trying to see how far you can go and push the boundaries? If so, then your motivation is not righteous in God’s eyes.

If you’re asking the question of how far is too far, my guess would be that you have looked at your boyfriend/girlfriend in a lustful way. You wouldn’t be wanting to go farther physically if you didn’t have physical desire for that person, right? Jesus is pretty clear in His teaching on that: “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). You have already sinned by looking lustfully at that person.

So if you’ve already sinned by being lustful, why not just go all the way while you’re already sinning, right? Wrong! As Paul writes in Romans 6:1-2, “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!” If you recognize your sin as sin, stop it! That may be difficult - check out Paul’s struggle in Romans 7:15-18 - but do your best to keep your motivation and your actions pure, because that’s what we’re called to by God.

Don’t put yourself in a situation where you are tempted to go farther than you ought to. Do some reading in God’s Word and decide where the boundary is before you’re in a tempting situation. Talk it over with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and make sure that you both agree to follow God’s Word in every aspect of your relationship. If that’s not something both of you are willing to do, then pray and seek God’s guidance on whether you should be with that person or not.

If you’re in a situation where you’d like some guidance from fellow Christ followers, feel free to contact us here at Worldview Warriors and we’ll do our best to help guide you along the path that God has for you.

This forum is meant to foster discussion and allow for differing viewpoints to be explored with equal and respectful consideration.  All comments are moderated and any foul language or threatening/abusive comments will not be approved.  Users who engage in threatening or abusive comments which are physically harmful in nature will be reported to the authorities.