Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
- 1 Corinthians 7:8-16
In the first part of chapter 7, Paul began answering a question from the Corinthians about married life as a Christian. This faith was still new to them, so they needed instructions on how to live properly. Since the beginning of chapter 5, Paul spent a lot of time condemning the sin of incest and other sexual sins in their congregation, so it is helpful now for him to explain what a good example of marriage should look like.
Here, Paul gives advice first to the single people in the church – those who are unmarried and widows. In verses 8-9, it almost looks like he contradicts himself, both saying that it is good for them to stay unmarried but also it’s good for them to marry. The reasons it is good for them to stay single are spelled out in more detail later in the chapter (verses 25-35), but for now he states that it is good to stay unmarried just as he is not married. However, the catch to that is if they are unable to control themselves sexually. Paul considers it better for them to be married where they are in accordance with God’s will to experience sex with their spouse rather than having sex outside of marriage.
Next, Paul addresses divorce in verses 10-11. He first specifies that this is not his own command but that it comes from the Lord. When he talked about single people, that was his own opinion, but here he specifies that this is from God. A married couple staying together is not just good; it is a command from God! The command against divorce echoes the teachings of Jesus in Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:3-9, and Luke 16:18, so there is ample evidence to back up what Paul is saying here. Paul specifically calls out both the husband and the wife in this situation, unlike Jesus’ teachings that seem to specifically call out the man only. But the focus of this passage is on maintaining or restoring marriage as being a command from God.
In the next few verses, Paul goes beyond the instructions of Jesus, specifically addressing a situation where one of the marriage partners has become a Christian and the other has not. Again, Paul clarifies that these are his thoughts, not commands from Jesus. We do believe these words are God-inspired Scripture just like everything else in the Bible, of course, so Paul’s words here are still very important.
Paul makes it clear that whether it is the husband or the wife who is a believer when the other partner isn’t, the couple should not get a divorce (verses 12-13). This was likely a big problem in the early church where people were coming to faith all the time. If one spouse heard the gospel and believed while the other didn’t, they need assurance that staying with their spouse was the right thing to do. This is a different situation than a believer choosing to marry an unbeliever; Paul will address that in 2 Corinthians 6:14. Here, he is talking about when they are already married and one spouse becomes a believer.
Paul explains the importance of remaining in a “mixed” marriage like this in verse 14. The believer can be used by God to influence the unbelieving spouse. This idea of the unbelieving spouse being “sanctified” by the believing spouse does not imply moral purity; rather, it emphasizes a relationship with God in that the family is set apart for God. This makes it even more important for the believing spouse to teach the Christian faith to the children and to bring them up as believers. The hope, of course, is for the believing spouse to bring the unbelieving spouse to saving faith in Jesus Christ.
However, Paul realizes in verse 15 that the unbeliever may choose to leave the marriage. In this case, the believer must respect that and let the unbeliever go since it was the unbeliever who broke the marriage contract. Another reason Paul gives for this is how we as believers are called to live in peace, and it would not be a peaceful relationship if the unbeliever is no longer committed to the marriage. The believer should do their best to live at peace with the unbelieving spouse, but they should not be forced to stay.
In verse 16, Paul emphasizes again that the marriage should remain intact, even if both spouses are not believers in Jesus. The hope is that God will use the believer to bring the unbeliever to faith and salvation.
How does this apply to us today, in our culture where divorce is rampant? While there are Old Testament laws that we no longer need to follow today because they were fulfilled in Jesus, these are New Testament instructions from Paul, and these verses are still part of the Scriptures and were inspired by the Holy Spirit. Even though Paul clarifies that some of this is only his instructions and not instructions from Jesus, what Paul writes here lines up with the teachings of Jesus. God instituted marriage back in Genesis 2:24, and He desires that marriages should remain intact.
If you are single, it is wise to remain single as Paul did, but if you are married, it gives God glory and honor to remain married. We are called to give God glory in all things, including our relationship status.
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