Blog

by Jason DeZurik

I am going to take a quick break from my “The Foundation Matters” series to just touch on something that has become quite a problem throughout our society. It seems many of us have learned how not to be “present” right where we are at for the moment. I encourage you to please be open minded and be open with your spirit and prayerfully consider the information in this post. Oh sure, our physical bodies are where they are at for the moment, but our minds and even perhaps our spirits are seemingly somewhere else.

Let me give you an example of what I am referring to. I have been blessed to coach high school sports as an assistant and a head coach for many years. Things have seriously changed from the past. Change isn’t always a bad thing, but in my opinion, this is one that needs a serious remedy. It is just surprising to me how much a person’s phone or technological device can rule their life in so many ways. For instance, after a game is played on the field or court, after the traditional handshakes are made with the opposing team, I am amazed at how many new players almost immediately start looking for their phones. This is even before the coach gives their final words of encouragement or their talk after a game on the sidelines or the locker room.

Sometimes while a game is going on, other coaches and I wonder why a certain player of ours is playing so terrible or seems distracted on the field. Many times, after the handshakes this player is immediately on their phone, going somewhere else, or worried about what is about to happen in the future. (It seems many of our youth today are worried and anxious. We need to teach them that this is not godly. Read more about this in Philippians 4:6-7.) When this happens, it is very obvious to most of us coaches that the player likely had a bad game because they were possibly consumed in their own mind with something else even though they were on the field playing the game. Unfortunately, this seems to be a very serious and real problem in our society today. This is not just with sports but with marriages, families, friends, and even work environments.

Here are some images to consider before reading the rest of this post.

As a young man, I was taught by my father, grandfathers, and other male role models in my life about the importance of looking people in the eye when you are having a conversation. When you shake someone’s hand, you give a firm grip while looking them in the eye, so they know what kind of person they are dealing with and to show that you care about them and being with them. Today, many people “fist bump” in order to help stop the spread of germs and I respect that reasoning greatly. We can still look each other in the eye though, can’t we?

Some of you might be wondering, how does this fit with something in the Bible? Well, the Bible is a great resource in learning how to be in a right relationship with God and people. There is also great information in God’s Word about staying away from some people and understanding that some people have a different calling than you. This doesn’t make those people bad and you good, or vice versa, it just means God has different paths for each one of you.

We are able to find a lot of great advice in the book of Proverbs about being wise in our relationships with others as well as what kind of people to stay away from. So, I would encourage you to be wise with your personal media devices. Perhaps for some of you it would be advantageous to put your device away by 7pm every night in order to actually spend some time with the ones you love and allow them to spend some time with you too. I encourage you that when you’re in a room with another person, unless you are working on something within good healthy boundaries, to put your device away and give that person your undivided attention. Let them know that they are important. Show them love.

Let me give you an acronym I learned when I went through youth ministry training with Tentmakers that I think could be a very good tool for you to use in your relationships. You need to LVV (Love) them:

Look at them
Give them Verbal approval
And Visual approval

LVV (Love) them

* Look at them. Don’t just look someone in the eye but actually look at them with your body language as well. What do I mean? Face them not just with your face but with your body turned to them in their direction. Give them your undivided attention.

* Verbal approval. Repeat back what someone is saying to you. You can say things like, “Yes, that is a good idea.” Or, “Yes, that makes sense.”

* Visual approval. While doing the things above, nod your head up and down in a positive manner to let this person know you are hearing them and that you care. Again, let your body language speak positivity to this person as well. Shift your body in a way that it is clear you are giving them your attention. Show them that they are important.

Most importantly, put your phone down! It’s okay; the world will go on without you. Like it or not, you don’t need to know everything going on in the world. That job is taken by Almighty God.

Some more Scriptures you could dig into: Proverbs 1:8-33 Proverbs 2 Proverbs 3

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