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by Charlie Wolcott

Matthew 18 has been a very difficult passage for many people to properly break down, and that difficulty stems from treating the “headers” as different topics and events. Matthew 18 is the famous, or infamous, passage regarding church discipline followed by the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant. This chapter has some of the most misquoted passages in the Bible as well.

Matthew 18 explains how to deal with a brother who sins against you. This is regarding personal sin, one-on-one. This is not dealing with false teachings. This is about church conflict between members. Slander, gossip, rudeness, jealousy, and the list goes on. I am also not talking about being nosy; it is not our job to go around seeking to correct everyone in their sins, especially when we have our own to deal with. However, when someone sins against you, the first step is to go to that person and confront them. If they refuse to listen, then take a couple of witnesses who have seen the same behavior. If they still don’t listen, then go to the church, namely some church elders, who have seen the same behavior and confront the person with them. If they still refuse to listen, then they should not be welcome in the fellowship.

However, a very key part of this is the goal of restoration. Restoration is never to be granted without clear repentance. While one may forgive, one is not to restore until that sin is dealt with. It may not be perfect, but a mere “I am sorry, I got caught” is not going to cut it. There must be clear evidence of seeking to deal with that sin. And in that process of dealing with sin and dealing with restoration or removing from the congregation, we have this statement of “if two or three are gathered in my name, what you loose will be loosed and what is bound will be bound.” That passage is not talking about a church gathering. It is talking about the restoration or removal of a congregant who was in sin. It is not talking about getting two or three people to “bind Satan” or proclaim whatever thing comes to the mind to be set loose. No, it’s talking about dealing with sin in the church, confronting it, and seeing the sinner restored. It is also worth noting that if it gets to the point of removing someone from fellowship, and in some cases that needs to be done immediately, and the earlier steps need to be skipped, that person is not to be treated as a total outcast but as the mission field. If someone is that steeped in sin, chances are very high that he is not a believer and has not been born again. The issue is not if they have believed in Christ or not; the issue is if they have bent the knee to Christ or not. This was actually put into practice in the Corinthian church. Paul told the congregation to boot out a sexually immoral man, but after he repented, to restore him to the fellowship.

Then Peter asks how many times he must forgive before he can say “enough,” and Jesus says, “seventy times seven,” meaning more than you can count and keep forgiving. He then gives a parable of a servant with a truly unpayable debt to a master. The servant begged for mercy, and the master forgave the massive debt, but then this same servant refused to give the tiny trifles of a debt that he was owed. So the master put the massive debt back on that first servant. Jesus gave this parable to show that any of the sins we do against each other is next to nothing compared to the sins we have done against our Father in heaven. If God is able to forgive our massive rebellion against Him, why should we be so hard to forgive those who commit the tiniest offenses against us?

Now, a debate often arises whether one must repent before one can be forgiven. Some have argued that you can forgive in the context of surrendering the desire to see a wrong made right to the Lord to deal with and not hold a grudge. I have often presented that picture. But this does not allow for restoration until repentance is found. Others have argued that you cannot forgive until repentance is found, and one has to be careful with this position to not use that as an excuse to hold grudges. I am not going to try to solve that one here. I will say that there must be repentance and forgiveness together for restoration to be had.

If that sin is done by one in a position of authority, then there is another issue to deal with because the sinner didn’t merely sin against the person and against God, but they also violated the position of authority they held. And when I have seen proper church discipline done, when someone is restored after violating the position, they cannot hold that position again. They can be restored to ministry, but it must be a different ministry, and, more often than not, it is a ministry that will specifically help people deal with that very sin.

Jesus makes a point in these teachings that our sin against each other is very small and tiny compared to our sin against God. David understood this. He committed terrible sins against Bathsheba, betraying one of his Mighty Men, one of his closest friends from his time of training on the run from Saul, and then having him murdered to cover for it. But David realized his sin against them was small in comparison to the real sin he had committed against God, by despising the Law of God, which he had repeatedly sung about and loved. If he had not sinned against God, he never would have sinned against Bathsheba or Uriah. David was restored because he repented, and while God let him keep the throne, it was not without consequence. David had violence in his house for the rest of his reign. David only got to keep the throne because of God’s promise to keep him on the throne.

Conflict will inevitably occur when people and relationships are involved, so follow what Jesus modeled as you deal with forgiveness and restoration when the need arises.

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