Blog

by Charlie Wolcott

“Love is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV)
“… is not provoked, thinks no evil.” (1 Corinthians 13:5, NKJV)

As I have mentioned over the past couple weeks, sometimes it is easier to show what something is not to describe it than it is to show what it is. Here I will look at two more things that love is not and what love does not do. Love is not easily angered and love does not keep records of wrongs. This post is about how love properly handles grievances.

Love is not easily angered

When something goes wrong, love is not easily irritated or upset, nor does it blow up on others. This ties in very closely to how love is patient or long-suffering. At the slightest infraction or grievance, love chooses not to get angry. It is not easily provoked and instead it takes time and appropriate measures to respond correctly.

Those who are easily angered respond off the cuff and typically do not think about it. Many times they have a correct refutation to the wrong, but they usually do it with a motive of revenge and pay-back or “I’ll show you.” Those easily angered usually have very quick tongues. They do not take the time to listen to what is being said but instead are already preparing their response.

Many who hold to false teachings, like deep time evolution over millions of years or hold to Prosperity Gospel teachers as some kind of idol, often mistake the addressing of false teachings as being angry and divisive. That said, sometimes those who make a stand for truth can also address the false teachings with an unrighteous anger response. We have a right to be angry when something is legitimately wrong. Righteous indignation is certainly a thing, but righteous anger responds one way and sinful anger without love responds another way.

I am not exactly innocent of this. I have been accused of being angry when all I am doing is addressing a false teaching, but there have been times where I have responded in anger and frustration with those who want nothing to do with truth. While I have been better at controlling my tongue, I often spend some time ‘fuming’ in which I am refuting what they are saying in my head. While it is good mental exercise to know how to refute arguments, we have to be careful in our motive in doing so.

When dealing with false teachings or anything else that harms someone, we have to carry a righteous anger against that which harms the person, but at the same time understand that those who support these false teachings are victims of them. They defend these false teachings as though their lives are at stake, in part because they have attached their identity to those teachings. When we speak the truth in love, we have to separate the person from the teaching and show them how Christ gives them a much clearer and better identity. We must train ourselves to not be angry at these people who are victims of deception but angry with powers of darkness perpetually deceiving the simple, even or especially if they are ‘educated.’

Love keeps no records of wrongs

Love does not hold grudges nor count how many times people have messed up. When one holds a grudge because of a grievance against them, it quickly becomes a root of bitterness which is well capable of eating and destroying anything good in our lives. Love does not hold grudges and thus does not allow bitterness to take root. This requires an active choice to love because grudges have a wonderful way of slipping in unnoticed and taking root.

That said, love is also not gullible. Do not confuse love with letting someone do whatever they want. While love keeps no records of wrongs, it is also not an enabler of letting wrongs take place by turning a blind eye. Many heathen seek to take advantage of people, especially Christians, because they are supposed to be nice, not seek revenge, and not retaliate. Yet if we truly love others, we could be set up and perhaps be taken advantage of, but we will not fall. Few illustrate this better for me than John Hyde does.

John Hyde constantly had people berate him because he truly did live a “holier than thou” life, despite never boasting about it nor giving the impression he thought that. He was so close to God it simply glowed off him. Instead of keeping tabs on those who tried to bring him down, he would simply say, “They were misunderstanding” and never thought twice about it. In another incident, he had a man go to live with him but he was an enemy plant. Hyde took him in and after three or four days he ran out and proclaimed Hyde was a god because he had no fault. I look at that and compare it to my life and I have a long way to go before anyone who observed me in my daily routine could say I had no fault. Hyde never took offense to the setup. He kept no record of it.

Keeping no records of wrongs has a simple term that goes with it: forgiveness. I describe forgiveness as not holding the person responsible for their wrong. It does not mean the crime is forgotten nor does it mean trust is automatically restored. It means we will not hold that person responsible for making things right with us. I like to use the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant to illustrate this. When the master forgave the servant’s extensive, unpayable debt, the debt did not go away. He simply did not make the servant pay it back and instead he ate the debt himself.

God does not keep record of our sins, not because he lets us off the hook, but because Jesus Christ paid the debt on our behalf in full. The debt was settled, even though another paid for it. He has separated our sins as far as the east is from the west. The thing about latitude is that you can keep going east and you will never end up going west. If you go north or south, you get to a point where you start going south or north. But east never becomes west. When we are born again, God keeps no records of our sin because he does not see us in our wicked sinful state, but he instead sees us covered with the clothes of righteousness provided by Jesus Christ. As God has forgiven our sin and keeps no records of our sin, should we not do the same with those around us?

Next week I’ll address how love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth.

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