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by Nathan Buck

Something peculiar happens when we find ourselves living a lie. We see gaps, holes in the fabric of the costume, cracks in the mask. Those gaps are where our masquerade doesn’t fit reality, and it is opposite to our real design/nature.

People looking closely at the lion in the duck costume (see last week’s post) may see the tail of the lion sticking out, oversized feet, poor floating skills, a bill that doesn’t quite fit over the mouth, etc.

If we are that lion, every moment we encounter a gap like this, we have a choice – come clean, or push harder to be seen as a duck. Sadly, most of the time, we will persist in trying to convince people we are the duck. We will do everything we can to be seen as a duck, even work at redefining in the minds of everyone around us what a duck really is. Meanwhile we keep practicing duck like behavior, so the gaps are less and less noticeable.

Romans 1:26-32 finishes describing masquerade and where it leads.

First and foremost, the more we persist and practice the opposite of our design and identity, the more God will allow us (or give us over) to experience the results of our choice. When we ignore reality, when we ignore the gaps, and we try to redefine the nature of our existence, it is like a fist in God’s face that says, “back off.” And God will let us walk that road, and live those consequences. Why? Could we have true love and relationship with anyone, without the choice not to?

Look at what that choice leads to. When we persist against God, and against our design, verses 28-31 describe the results. Our minds become depraved. The Greek word used in verse 28 for “depraved” means “unqualified” and has the root word for “watching.” In essence we could translate this as, “unable to see straight” or “broken in our ability to perceive.”

From there, a laundry list of nastiness comes out of us, as we become more aggressively determined to prove God does not exist and His creation is not what it appears. We reject the idea that there are any consequences for our choices, and we continue to practice and rationalize, and we argue to prove our costume is what is real. We gather others around us to help. We even collaborate on how we can all improve our masquerade. We persist and practice everything we can opposite to our design, until finally the duck consumes the lion - at least we think it has.

Then in full confidence of having become our imposter, we stand and shout our denial of God and our victory of re-creating ourselves.

But God sees no one there. He sees shadow, and mist.

The rejection of everything to become something we thought was greater sears our conscience in arrogant denial. What was once intended for great beauty, strength, and purpose, becomes fiction. The never-ending effort to cover over the gaps and resist reality becomes our new purpose. In the end, the myth will consume its author.

And I believe, God weeps at the implosion of His children – who settled for less. Who does God see when he looks at you? Who do you see when you look in the mirror?