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“Did God REALLY say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1 [CAPS mine]) Ever since that moment in the Garden of Eden, the enemy has been trying to get us to question God’s Word to us. And it often works! While Eve was able to declare the serpent’s quote as incorrect, she then also misquoted God, saying that he told them they will die if they “touch” the tree in the middle of the garden when he did not. He told her husband they would die if they “eat” of it. So the enemy’s plan worked, even if his quote of God was also wrong. I can picture Eve standing there desperately trying to remember God’s words as they are questioned (by the way, she didn’t even exist when the command was given, so it was Adam’s FULL responsibility to accurately speak God’s Word to his wife – see the story for yourself in Genesis 2 and 3 if you want). Even the slightest confusion about God’s truth opened the door for Adam and Eve to be tempted, which resulted in their disobedience and sin entering the human race. So you see, friends, this trick of the enemy is nothing new. But make no mistake about it, it IS a trick of the enemy, and the only defense we have against it is to know and believe God’s Word.

Perhaps there is no greater area of our lives where the enemy tries to introduce confusion and deception than our sexuality. He does this in a variety of ways. Some people are taught from a very young age that “sex is evil”, which causes huge internal conflict when they mature and are unable to reconcile their feelings with what they’ve been taught. Look it up, folks. In that same Genesis 2, you can see that God created man and woman and gave them the gift of sex BEFORE sin entered the world. So if you’ve taught or believed that sex is wrong, please reconcile your views with the truth.

But for the majority of us, the enemy’s tactic has affected us a different way. We’ve been taught God’s truth regarding sexuality, but the enemy and our own temptations have caused us to question what he REALLY said. In other words, we look for ways to justify and believe “what our itching ears want to hear” (2 Timothy 3:3). I remember reading years ago that something like 62% of teenagers IN THE CHURCH admit to being sexually active by 12th grade. That was a staggering statistic at the time, but I wonder if the number has risen. As both a man who went through the time of questioning myself and one who has worked with youth and young adults for many years, I can safely say there’s been no greater battlefield for the souls of young people than sexuality. Rather than submitting to God’s truth wholeheartedly, we are tricked into seeing how far we can “push the boundary” that God has set. What if it’s love? Am I still a virgin if it’s only oral sex? If God wants me to wait, why hasn’t he provided a spouse yet? If we know we’re going to get married, what’s the point of waiting now? Is lusting without actually having sex still wrong? These are just some of the questions you may have asked or heard others ask in an effort to justify their feelings so they don’t have to continue resisting the temptation.

If you’re trying to find a loophole in Scripture that allows you to be sexually active and still follow Christ, I have bad news and good news. The bad news is you won’t find it (even though that’s actually good news because God’s commands are there to protect and bless you). Scripture is actually even more restrictive than you might think. I once heard someone say “there’s no such thing as premarital sex in God’s eyes”. In our culture and even in ancient Jewish culture, marriage involves a ceremony, a certificate, and the sworn oaths of the parties. While I can’t say that comment is completely true because of the possibility of forced sexual activity, I do agree with the point. The Old Testament laws about marriage and sex in Deuteronomy practically assume that if two people are agreeing to engage in sexual activity, they’re willing to make the marriage commitment. You’ve heard people refer to it as “consummating the marriage”. You can’t have one without the other! Regarding lust, Jesus says to look at someone lustfully has the same affect on your heart as actually sleeping with them (Matthew 5:28). As far as sexual activity separate from intercourse, Song of Solomon is really the only book in the Bible that even vaguely references this and it’s all within a marital relationship. Furthermore, while marriage is not a sin, both the Apostle Paul (1 Cor. 7:32-38) and the Book of Revelation (14:3-4) indicate that to not get married and remain a virgin is better than getting married because it allows one to be FULLY devoted to God.

As you can see, our culture, and many in the church, have more than crossed God’s boundaries regarding sexual intimacy. But there is great news. While the enemy loves to use your past sexual sins to make you feel like there is no benefit of changing because you can’t get your virginity back (another example of confusion and deception regarding God’s Word), God wants to show you that hope is not lost. In our culture, the bride usually wears white on her wedding day to symbolize purity. But even if she is not a virgin, I’ve always looked at it like the groom’s love for her and disregarding of her past allows her to be presented as pure. Christ does the same thing for us. Paul tells the church he wants to present “her” as a “pure virgin” to the groom, which is Christ (2 Cor. 11:2). If that were based on our own deeds, it’d be impossible. Thankfully, Christ’s sacrifice allows us to be presented as “holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation” (Colossians 1:22). This is true for all who simply believe and confess that his sacrifice on the cross is sufficient for their sins, and who walk in freedom from them based on that faith. In the end, we’re told that those who overcome, meaning those whose faith causes them to resist temptation and live in purity despite their pasts, will be “dressed in white” (Revelation 3:5). Once sin, death, and Satan have been defeated, the church will be “prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband” (Revelation 21:2). So friends, no matter what you have done, know that trusting in Christ makes you a pure virgin in his eyes.