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One of the best discussions about forgiveness that I ever got to be a part of was back in October 2011. I was in Buena Vista, CO for some intensive counseling with a man named Pete Kuiper, a well-known figure in Christian Counseling. I learned many lessons during that time, but one in particular came to my mind when I saw the topic for this week. Pete was talking about injustice and how we respond to it. He taught that "injustice activates all of our judicial functions". He then went on to describe how our way of dealing with injustices, especially the ones done to US, is like a criminal trial. If I am the victim, I then become the detective, the prosecuting attorney, the jury, the judge, and the sentencing judge! After I make my decision on the case, I turn the defendant (anyone who has ever hurt me) over to the executioner, which also just happens to be ME! Many of you are probably reading this right now and realizing that you have done this. Some of you have probably just gone through this process in your minds. Others have probably been more vocal about your decisions about other people and what they've done and the result has likely been broken relationships. This type of evaluation, judgment, and revenge satisfies our flesh by giving us the illusion that the scales of justice have been brought back to proper balance. However, as Mr. Kuiper pointed out to me and others in a group session, there's one major problem with it. In Kuiper's words and following the theme of a criminal trial, "We don't have jurisdiction!" The reason why we don't have it is because "justice is God's domain, not ours". Wow! That's powerful!

To our flesh, this doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make us feel any better about what has been done to us. It doesn't give us a sense of victory when we feel we desperately need it. But if we step back and think about it logically, it actually makes perfect sense. When was the last time you sought revenge and actually felt you got it? Typically, that which we are tempted to think will make us feel better ends up making us feel worse. Instead of easing the pain we are feeling, we now carry that pain while also adding onto it the guilt of hurting someone else. God is the only One who knows what punishment those who have hurt us need to suffer. He is the only One who can make something beautiful out of pain. He is the only One who knows what the people who hurt us has already gone through in their lives to bring them to the point where they hurt us. We make our decisions about our perpetrators while knowing very little and in some cases nothing about what is happening in their lives. When we realize the stupidity of trying to get something (justice) that God is way better at getting that we are, we're left with no other logical choice except to forgive and leave the rest up to God. I'm not saying this is done just as easily as it is said. I agree with Katie that forgiveness is impossible without the Holy Spirit working through us to show us that we can trust Him. What I am saying is that forgiveness is not excusing what someone did or letting them go without appropriate consequences. It is simply choosing to put that part of the equation in God's hands because we recognize that He's the best there is at it! It works the same with forgiving yourself as it does forgiving others. To choose to forgive yourself means to stop punishing yourself and accept that whatever consequences God chooses to give you are appropriate and ENOUGH.

I want to finish by going back to the idea of forgiving others, since I know for me that is the most difficult. Paul hits this issue directly in Romans 12. "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord" (v. 19). Think about what Paul is saying here. He's basically saying that to take revenge ourselves is to take God's place and BLOCK His wrath. Isn't that the opposite effect of what our flesh actually wants? God gives us free will and does not stop us from taking revenge if we are hell-bent on doing so. But Paul warns us here that doing so only prevents God's wrath from working its course. Paul quotes in this verse from Deuteronomy 32:35, where God is speaking through Moses. Just a few verses earlier, we get a glimpse of God's heart. "I said I would scatter them (the Israelites) and blot out their memory from mankind, but I dreaded the taunt of the enemy, lest the adversary misunderstand and say, 'Our hand has triumphed; the LORD has not done all this'" (Deut. 32:26-27). So, God himself is concerned about what the enemy will think if justice is not done! We often act as if it is up to us to "set things straight". But in truth, all we are really worried about is ourselves. God has His name and reputation to protect!

I want to encourage you to actively and consciously choose to trust God with the injustices you experience. Stand firm in your knowledge that God will do whatever is necessary to protect His name. He sees the big picture when all you can see is what's right in front of you. Rest assured that those who cause you harm will suffer, either from unrepentance and its consequences or from repentance and the initial shame, guilt, and regret that comes with realizing the harm for which you are responsible. All will be called to account before our God and He will make sure justice is served in His way and His time. And if you are reading this and thinking you are more concerned with protecting YOUR name and getting justice YOUR way rather than honoring God, then it's probably an indication of where your heart is at this point. Either way, there's hope. And I encourage you to seek the Lord in the ways you struggle in this area.